About WoW

From The Onion

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/47492

Come on, honey, why do you have to be like that? You know that you're my Elven princess. My one and only. I would dare say that there is no one in all the realm who doesn't know of our love. I have sung your praises from the mouth of the Shadowthread Cave to the Stranglethorn Vale of the Eastern Kingdoms. I've introduced you to my comrades-in-arms in the Ulster guild, and they all accept you as kin.

And now you want to dissolve the greatest love ever to brighten my basement?

When we met, I was looking for a group fit to take the Zul'Gurub instance. But as I stocked up on provisions at the convenience store before my quest, and our eyes locked, I realized that I was not looking for a group, I was looking for love, and I found it in you. You are the sun, the moon, the Cinderhide Armsplints of the Monkey. There is so much we have to offer one another. Unfailing loyalty, a Strength of 250, someone who can go out for snacks in the heat of battle. Can't you see we're made for each other?

Darling, no orc can keep me from you. I would make my way into the heart of Moonglade and fight an army of trolls just to be by your side. I would go up against Varimathras, the ruler of the Undead himself, if he so much as hinted that he was a danger to you. Make no mistake, I would get aggro on anyone who would threaten you.

This is, of course, provided the system is not down due to a faulty patch.

Don't you see that I did it all for you? My love for you exceeds Level 60, higher than anyone thought possible in this fantastic computer universe. My spirit soars when you are near. You restore my mana with a kiss. I even named my epic mount after you. Her name is Helen, and her hair shimmers in the sunlight, and together we ride forward into destiny.

I would climb the highest peak of Mount Hyjal to toil for 100 days and 100 nights in the mines in order to extract the precious ore so that I may fashion you a necklace of the finest thorium. My warrior, Hammuster, devoted his game's life to the professions of mining and smithing just so that I might accomplish that very thing. All you need do is join me in the WoW and hold the necklace up to the virtual sun. Then you may see the efforts I have expended to create this thing of beauty for you. The dishes can wait until tomorrow.

Helen, my mage, when I was ganked by a lowly rogue from Tennessee in the Caverns of Time and stripped of my treasured belongings, I rose from the grave with one purpose in mind. I had to be resurrected, not to seek revenge, but to return to you.

There is no other way to put it: You take my breath bar away.

Why do we need to go out to have fun? Everything we could possibly want is right in WoW. Fine dining, theater, romantic sunsets—they're all there. The outside world just costs money, and I don't have a magic breastplate to protect me from people's stares. Come with me so I can treat you like the princess you are.

Please, baby, if you leave, you will increase by 32 percent the chance of doing direct damage to my heart. Please reconsider.

Bubba, I didn't know you and Sarge have been playing WOW...... 😛

You are the sun, the moon, the Cinderhide Armsplints of the Monkey.

😄 For some reason that part strikes me as incredibly funny 😄

irt Atomm: Blabla

oooo snap!! *
2 snaps up

Heh, I sent this to my friends who are WoW addicts. Reminds me of something I wrote once to rib one of them:

It's late at night. . .well, let's be honest. The glow of the rising
sun is shining it's pink-purple hues on the heavy winter cloud cover
to the east. Don, however, is oblivious, having spent the entire
night in his basement 'game-room', moving pixels from one point on the
screen to the other, acquiring virtual weapons, virtual mounts,
virtual castles and virtual gold in his continued quest of virtual
conspicuous consumption.

Having spent more than a year of very real time in his pursuit of
virtual lucre, he is quite the sartorial specimen. A fine, foppish
hat with a glittering green feather jutting from the hatband tilts
rakishly on his brow. A handsome cape dyed in the deepest Royal
Purple extracted from the rare Oompa-Loompa oysters of the faraway
Limpopo Sea flies out behind him. Armor, mithril with ancient runes of
protection inscribed upon it's breastplate, polished to a glasslike
finish inside and out, renders him as impervious as the hide of a
Krakatoan Rock-Monster A bag of holding hangs on his belt, ready to
supply him with any of dozens of potions, magical weapons, or sundry
other gee-whiz items. He pauses upon a hilltop, pulls the cork from
his wineskin and drinks deep, replenishing his strength, and surveys
the valley below.

"Where to now?", he asks himself. " Where shall I virtually wander,
what virtual deeds shall I do, what virtual treasure shall I plunder
from what dastardly virtual creature?" The virtual air is crisp and
clean, with all the promise of a beautiful virtual day just begun.

Suddenly, his blood turns to ice. He turns (virtually) and sees a
dark spectre which has come up behind him. Evil, pure and simple,
from the 9th dimension! Quickly he reaches for his bag of holding:
the Cross of Brilliant Goodness, surely that will do the deed. . .but
it is too late. The shadow makes a few gestures, and he is frozen to
the spot.

The virtually creepy creature creeps around Don, looking him over. He
pulls the bag of holding from Don's virtual belt, removes his foppish
hat with the virtual green feather and places it upon his own
black-hooded head. Next, he unties the virtual Royal Purple cape and
folds it over his left arm. "It wouldn't do to get these messy.", he
says.

Pulling a long, serrated blade, the apparition walks behind Don, leans
in close, and says, "I have a message from Doc & Paladin. . . GET A
LIFE!" And with one deft stroke, the creature completes his virtual
mission..


http://www.kotaku.com/gaming/pc/world-of-w...-hit-034530.php

(I'm actually suprised the link still works.)

😄

That's pretty funny Doc!