As you can plainly see from me sig, Talk Like a Pirate Day be upon us. It's stupid, needless, pointless, silly, juvenile, and completely uncalled for, so o' course I've been pimpin' it for a week 🙂 Some advice t' make this "Talk Like a Pirate Day" your best one yet!
FIRST, you will need a pirate name!
http://www.froggynet.com/cgi-bin/pirate.cgi
Using Doc Jon, I got: Capn Jack the Drunken
Then, you will need t' proper technology t' integrate your pirate-speak into your modern life:
Next: What kind o' a pirate be you?
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/ppi.html
(I be a Quartermaster!)
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/quartermaster.html
You will need some jokes t' tell 'round t' grog-bucket:
Why couldn't t' little pirate see t' movie?
Because it was rated ARRRRRRR!!!!
How do pirates know that they be pirates?
They think, tharfore they ARRRR!!!!!
Why does it take pirates so long t' learn t' alphabet?
Because they can spend years at C!
What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare?
A sunken chest with no booty!
A pirate walks into a bar wearin' a paper towel on his head. He sits down at t' bar and orders some dirty rum. T' bartender asks, "Why be you wearin' a paper towel?" "Arrr..." says t' pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"
What does a bleached blonde and a pirate have in common?
A little black patch.
What does a pirate say when he has a heart attack?
Arrr! Me heartie!
Where do pirates like t' eat?
Arrrr...bees.
What does a Dyslexic Pirate Say?
RRAAAAAAAAAAA!
Here be some pickup lines for seducin' t' wenches:
10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why me Roger be so Jolly?
9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
8. Come on up and see me urchins.
7. Aye, that be a hornpipe in me pocket and I be happy t' see you.
6. I'd love t' drop anchor in your lagoon.
5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me six pounder through your porthole?
4. How'd you like t' scrape t' barnacles off o' me rudder?
3. Ya know, darlinâ, Iâm 97 percent chum free.
2. Well, blow me down?
And t' number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is â¦
1. Prepare t' be boarded!
Bonus Pickup Lines:
Wanna shiver me timbers?
Thatâs t' finest pirate booty Iâve ever laid eaye on.
Let's get together and haul some keel.
Happy "Talk Like A Pirate Day", me hearties!
FIRST, you will need a pirate name!
http://www.froggynet.com/cgi-bin/pirate.cgi
Using Doc Jon, I got: Capn Jack the Drunken
Then, you will need t' proper technology t' integrate your pirate-speak into your modern life:
Next: What kind o' a pirate be you?
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/ppi.html
(I be a Quartermaster!)
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/quartermaster.html
You will need some jokes t' tell 'round t' grog-bucket:
Why couldn't t' little pirate see t' movie?
Because it was rated ARRRRRRR!!!!
How do pirates know that they be pirates?
They think, tharfore they ARRRR!!!!!
Why does it take pirates so long t' learn t' alphabet?
Because they can spend years at C!
What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare?
A sunken chest with no booty!
A pirate walks into a bar wearin' a paper towel on his head. He sits down at t' bar and orders some dirty rum. T' bartender asks, "Why be you wearin' a paper towel?" "Arrr..." says t' pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"
What does a bleached blonde and a pirate have in common?
A little black patch.
What does a pirate say when he has a heart attack?
Arrr! Me heartie!
Where do pirates like t' eat?
Arrrr...bees.
What does a Dyslexic Pirate Say?
RRAAAAAAAAAAA!
Here be some pickup lines for seducin' t' wenches:
10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why me Roger be so Jolly?
9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
8. Come on up and see me urchins.
7. Aye, that be a hornpipe in me pocket and I be happy t' see you.
6. I'd love t' drop anchor in your lagoon.
5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me six pounder through your porthole?
4. How'd you like t' scrape t' barnacles off o' me rudder?
3. Ya know, darlinâ, Iâm 97 percent chum free.
2. Well, blow me down?
And t' number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is â¦
1. Prepare t' be boarded!
Bonus Pickup Lines:
Wanna shiver me timbers?
Thatâs t' finest pirate booty Iâve ever laid eaye on.
Let's get together and haul some keel.
Happy "Talk Like A Pirate Day", me hearties!